Im sorry..No, Im sorry...

They had a fight..Yet again! She still is not sure why is he so stubborn and at the same time shes even confused why even after everything that happens she continues to expect so much out of him. As she sits there in the lawn after he takes a few steps away from her inspite of her telling him that she knows him so well that he wont leave. But in the end he does..After a little more fighting,her giving up and finally him just walking away to the train. She walks back home in a sort of blur where she cant decide if its worth goin on with but then she remembers the words she told him today...that no matter how much they fight they still love each other the most in the world and going away from each others life will hurt much more. Because just like it happens everyday its happened again today..He messages,she calls,he makes her laugh,she says i love you and then they make up.
What happens between a fight and the making up is the hard part. Cause when your fighting your sayin whatever is in your heart and that feels light and when your making up your again expressing your feelings to the one you love. But the space in the middle where you realise that they hurt you, that they did not meet up to your expectations and when the worst of all they walked away after seeing tears in your eyes is the most killing part. You replay every word that they have said and somehow it sounds even worst this time round. Ego and emotions always come in overflow..either your too proud to tell someone your sorry or all you do is keep saying sorry to someone just to make things better. Either way nothing gets solved..Things keep building up and time to time they are let out with an outrage. You always blame the other person for the change in you, noone stops to think that if you dint want the change then you could have easiy avoided it.
Relationships are based on a give and take relationship..And fights just make every couple stronger. Because couples who fight are the ones who have the interest to look at each other and realise that thers something wrong and that much of right on each other to tell the other person what they feel. Its very easy to live a relationship ignoring problems and not fight at all..but a true relationship is one where you can tell each other everything and fight and scream out things to each other but at the same time never be able to sleep at night in peace without making up with your partner.

xoxo
P

Ouch...That Hurt

Hey
Its hard to fail...Its harder to get up and face failure. Everytime something goes wrong there are 100 of people who will console youa nd tell you that it happened for the best..that you have better things coming in your future. But screw the future, what about the present? What do I do now?

I dint get into the early round offers!! Thats it the plain hard truth thats gonna make me crib,cry and whine for days to come..At every point in these last 8 months i have seen friends move ahead with life while im stuck in a dead end..My job was one way for me to leave all that at one point of time..to ignore the fact that my education was put on a hold..But then what did i do? I chucked the job..Why? It wasnt a stable job, it was causing problems at home, It was causing relationship crisis. Im tired of all this..tired of chucking everything that comforts me because of someone else. 3 years ago before i even knew what was going on i was told that i had to study to australia so i built myself in such a way where i only looked at universities there,where i told the whole world that i would not go anywhere but there..Its come to a point where i know that even though i would love to stay in dubai and study and live my comfortable normal life..I cant do it!! Because of people,beacuse of my parents,because of my own expectations. But i cant even be sure that im going because here i am with no admission letter in my hand while the rest of the world is in university studying,enjoying and bloody hell accomplishing somethin in life.

Im honestly tired of hearing "dont worry its gonna be ok" "be positive" "everything happens for the best"...Yes easier said than done..Why cant anyone just shut up and let me went out all this frustration..Everywhere i went in europe all i prayed for was this admission..for the last one month ive dedicated myself to praying for this..Now i know you may think its selfish to only think of god when i need him but its not like that..All my life i believed that the best way to talk to god was in simple normal conversation..that prayer jsut made everythin to formal..but early this year after facing dissapointment in my grade 12 results i realised that maybe when you really need something then God only listens to the normal set prayers..so i listened to my mom..I prayed..with all my heart,soul and mind..And now im trying my best to keep praying..to not loose hope and faith..to still believe that yes he will do what is right is for me..Eventually!!

Screw all this now..Im gonna eat cuz i feel like im gonna fall now..im gonna loose myself in wedding preperations and ignore everyones questions about where im going and when im going...Im not going to be happy immediately..but eventually ill deal with it..and in the meanwhile everyone around me better cooperate..Otherwise..When im upset and angry..theres a side of me that noone especially the aussie unis and the dont worry type of people want to see.

Thanks for letting me went here

xoxo
P

Wake Up, Its Time To Dream

Hey there dreamers of the world...
Ever just sat around on a lazy day and cooked up a dream world..Doesnt have to be anything magical like the ever famous Harry Potter(although if it is then you are on your way to writing one of the best children books of all time)..it could be an alternate reality..tiny changes in your life..things you feel if you had done wouldve changed the course of your life all together..comebacks you should have used during an argument..anything at all! Its relieving at times to just lay back and loose yourself in this dream world of yours where everything is the way you want and people say things that you always have answers to. Confession time: Everytime i hear a song i either picture a big song and dance sequence or a band on stage and yes im a part of both of those fantasy's ;)...Fantasy reminds me..people often talk about their romantic fantasies..sequences they want to happen in their romance..qualities they want in thier dream guy. Every person lives two phases in thier life...basic reality where they go on doing whatever their daily life requires and a fantasy life where they are the smartest,the most beautiful,the most loved...The only important thing being the line you draw between these two lives.
Many people do not see the difference..they incorporate their fantasy life into their daily life and somehow feel that everyones thoughts,lives and talks revolve around them. If they like someone that person definetly is writting love poems about them,if their hair is out of place obviously the whole room is noticing them and many other such absurd and small things. Selfcentered or dillusional is a comman name given to such people..However it is important to understand that when this goes out of hand it can be Schizophenia...a psychological disorder wherein a person is always living in their fantasy world..which according to me is the worlds most dangerous sickess.
Coming back to dreams and away from the bad side of it..Dreams are beautiful and the basis of life..You cannot achieve anything in life without having a dream..a mission!! My dream is to have a succesfull,loving and enjoyable life..And while i sit and fantasize about it, I will also make the best efforts to achieve that one day..
P.s. My Admission Results are out at 6 am tommorow morning..FINGERS CROSSED x

So heres to dreaming big, And living even bigger

xoxo
P

The Power To Rule

Well hello there little ones...

Now...Someone had once told Spiderman "With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility"...Only if this line was made the slogan of politics,business,actors,writer and other influential people in the world. Today i was watching a chat show and an actress was talking about an Indian social personality who writes for the national newspaper. Now she said something that i feel every journalist should keep in mind..Just because you have a pen in your hand and a column in the newspaper does not mean that you can take digs at peoples character and background...Yes everyone is entitled to their opinion..but when you talk about someone who is an actress..talk about their work and not their personal lives. This is something i have noticed about various journalists..We all know about the freedom of press..but at times i feel its soo subjected to peoples personal opinions..In conservatice countries everythin is writted with such curtain drawn over it..In big countries people are hardly enlightened about whats going on in the rest of the world. The power to write in the newspaper and speak on national television is given to few and if not put to proper use you can influence the minds of various people and at times even make or break a certain individuals career.
Now when we talk about power the next thing that comes into light is business companies all around the world. The products we use in our lives if not made properly can cause ill effects to our lives...People who have the power to deliver the best and healthiest products at times just to save a bit of money sell us cheap quality products...In many parts of the world consumer courts have been opened to save the right of each individual consumer so that noone is exploited.
When we talk about power how can we forget the world leaders. Politicians have the biggest role to play in the race for power. Controlling a country means that every descion one makes will affect a million odd people and if this decision is made with personal vendetta and selfish gains than an entire country suffers. A lot of the third world countries filled with poverty,child labour,terrorism,trafficking,etc can be bought out of all these problems with the right leadership. The youth leaders have to use their new insight along with the power to make the world a lot better place..P.S. There was a time in Year 10 when i was sooo influenced by Political Science that i really wanted to join Politics..Well that dream may get fullfilled..Seeing the UN HQ in geneva this year really made that dream get a new start.
Finally on a lighter note there are many more people in the world who have the power to influence and effect individuals lives...Parents,Teachers,Peers,etc....
So this is to people in life who crave Love,Money and most of all Power

xoxo
P

Its Kiddys Day :)

Heyyyy

Okie i know its past 12 am and today is considered as the 15th..but as per my rule..its not a new day till i see the sun rise again :)..Now technically yesterday was the 14th i.e. CHILDRENS DAY...well according to Indian tradition atleast. It is basically Pandit Jawaharlal Nehrus birthday and he loved children so this day is dedicated to children..and why not...you have mothers day(which suprisingly is 3 times a year) and fathers day so there should be a day dedicated to all the awesome children out there in the world. I for one had always got an opportunity to celebrate this day cause my school used to organise a carnival for it every year. Wow those were the days..the amount we would dance..put henna on our hands..it was the one day we got to wear casual clothes so it was the time to dress up as well.

Childhood...today as im at the brink of turning 18 and becoming an adult i feel like i can really look back at it all now and get this big smile on my face. It was the time when you never cared about anything..you could have fun in absolutely mad games and you never held a grudge against anyone. Swings,cartoons,icecreams that was life..i could eat all day and not care if i was putting on wieght or anything..but somehow every child wants to grow up and every grown up wants to be a kid again..The grass is always greener ont he other side as they say. The sad part is that there are children int he world who are deprived of a childhood..due to poverty,household violence,communal problems among other things..The years in life that make you the person that you are..these are the years that are stolen from these children. All i pray is that every child in the world gets to experience a beautiful childhood so that when they grow up and life is not fair they have memories that they can look at and smile :)

A few years back i had written a poem on 'Teenage Trauma' because at that time i thought becoming a teenager was the hardest thing that was happening to me but obviously i hadnt expected adulthood to be running along....and though i think this poem is on my other blog..i will put it here too

It feels like I turned thirteen yesterday
The happiness of becoming a teen what can I say
Never expected life to get so complicated
Wanna go back to the kiddy days which I hated
Looking around to see if I might
A sweet friendly face in sight
But the days seem so long
Everything going on is wrong
Go are the days of hide and seek
All we do now is pick on the weak
Gossip seems like an everyday routine
Never realize if to anyone we’ve been mean
Sitting down to catch up on books
All I remember Is that dreamy guys looks
The girl who scored an a plus
Dropped down to a c without a fuss
Pigtails, cartoons, and video games at loss
All we think of is clothes and lip gloss
But is life as bad as we see
Are we half as bad we seem to be
Still in our heart lives the little girl
Who once in a while does take a twirl
So give her a chance, bring her back
Bring back the happiness which you lack
Say no to all wrong things
Speak the truth even if it stings
Have a picnic with your pals
Become the same old kiddy gals
Cause if you don’t you might miss a lot
Will become the depressed person you want to be not
Being a teen has its fun and frolic
Just don’t grow up to be a workaholic
So here’s a teenage girl telling u
Do whatever your heart says to do


xoxo
P

Baby...Im gonna fly xD

Life may flash in front of me before I die,
But can i see it all now if I try?
There are old things I want to see,
There are old places where I want to be.

With experience in life,also comes fear,
The wonder of exactly how I got here.
I know I have learnt a lot,
Some things fell into my lap and for some I fought.

Today as I grow up and turn eighteen,
There are still a lot of things unseen.
Places where I want to go, People who I want to meet,
A lot more difficulties in life that i have to defeat.

So today as I take a step ahead,
Ill do it in style by painting the town red.
Ill walk out straight with my head held high,
Baby its time for this girl to fly.

So heres to new beginnings and a fascinating end,
New challenges,new acomplishments and new rules to bend.
Take the lessons learned and my attitude along,
Cause this time 1 write my own song!!

xoxo
P

Im Still Here...Booooo

Heyyyy
Okie its been a week since ive posted and i really dint want to get into my old laziness of not posting anything :p
Well the latest buzz in life is the Birthday Planning..You know for someone who loves event management its very supring that planning my own birthday is a such a pain..Maybe its cause when your planning for anyone else you dont have any personal tension..Here i have to worry cause certain people dont want to be in the same room as others..family and friends together...my choices might be different from what other people life...ufff!!..Hehe but well its going nice...ive gotten my hall fixed, the cake is getting made, invites have been sent out..And the stage is set..Lets see how it turns out :)..Whatever happens im turning 18 xD...
Plus the trip down to 18 is turning out to be pretty nice..Im becoming a little more religious, I finally watched a horror movie (paranormal movie 2)in the movie hall and most of all ive realised that keeping a grudge with anyone and making extra efforts to please anyone will take you NOWHERE...Well maybe i am maturing..What say ;)...
Ohhhhh..Shona had his freshers on thursday..what a night that was..we got all dressed up went and danced the night away..Got the best couple dance prize btw :p..Its when nights like these come along you realise that at time you just need to chill..Forget all the tensions of the world and just loose yourself to goood music :)...
Diwali was also a nice night...I burst crackers with friends and it was such a relief that this year nothing decided to burst in my hand..hahah..Dont know weather all this is gonna be there wen i go to aussie so might as well make the most of it now :)
Well for now i better run off..Need to get some things done..Hopefully ill have something better to write about soon..These weekly updates are just a good way to preserve memories..Well not that im saying memories are not special..
But i do need to write some serious stuff soon too

xoxo
P

N.O.V.E.M.B.E.R

Ellooo,

Although i pretty much have nothing interesting going on..I just HAD to post today. After all its November xD...Now why is this month so special? Well for one on the 4th I will be attending a college fresher party..and for someone who dint have an official prom in high school this is sort of a big deal, second that on the 26th i get my university offers..so fingers crossed for that..and finally and definetly the most important..Its my birthday this month!!...I turn 18...wohoo..now maybe even if i turn any age its going to be that a big deal for me..Im one of those people who countdowns to her birthday..expects everyone to treat me special this whole month and many other birthday tantrums ;)...But i guess thats needed right? People say that after 30 women start hiding their age and birthdays become more of a boon..The thought of that shocks me..Aging gracefully and enjoying each birthday is something which i plan to do all my life. So for now i have to get down to planning my birthday...Its gonna be a lotta work and hopefully it will go well.. :)..

As for the other great things about this month..Admission is definetly gonna be one hell of a day..i really hope i get into Swinburne..cause a part of me knows that the course is specially written for me..and when something is sooooo superb..not getting it really leaves u with such resentment that you cant really enjoy the second best thing you get. Hehe so lets all hope that my birthday wish comes true :)

And as for freshers..its sort of a welcome into this fabulous month..Ive shopped and got this pretty black dress with nice accesories..However as i was talking to my friends the biggest fear of any girl...Someone else turns up with the same outfit as you...hahah one of the many things a girl worries about :P

Anyways heres to a great month ahead

xoxo
P