Ever gone up to someone and directly told them off on their face? Told them all the problems you ever have with them? Finished it up all together? There may be a few of your'l out there who might have gone to some limit in doing such a thing but not till a person reaches their ultimate breaking point do they every go out and have a full fledged confrontation. Now when you ask someone why they wont do such a thing you will get to hear a variety of answers:
1.I could not be bothered.
2.He doesnt even deserve to know
3. I dont want to cause any uncomfortable situations,etc.
But the main answer being that people are worried that maybe they may say something which might not be able to be taken back. How much ever you hate someone(and that is the extreme limit of causing a fight) you do not want to break someone with your words. Because the fact that they could hurt you was cause you let them be close to you. And when someone is close to you,you share memories which cant be forgotten that easily.
But the problem begins when other people get involved into this fight...friends who have to be diplomatic or take sides. Either way they get involved. Its one thing to be diplomatic but i personally find it ridiculous to take sides. A fight is between two people and when either one of them has not done anything to you why would you hold such a big grudge against them? Or maybe thats just me. Shona told me today that im very much like his mom(and im definetly taking that as a compliment) cause we both listen to peoples problems and get so hassled by it even if it does not involve us. Yes i do accept i am like that. I can be very diplomatic and listen to everyones side of the story but it does hurt me to hear someone being upset. And this comes from a person who has had her fair share of fights. Couple of years back things suddenly got screwed up in my ever so peacefull life and i had to go through one of the biggest fights in my life with almost all my friends. I lost a lot that year...Friends,happiness,peace of mind,weight and even myself to a limit. I believed that you cannot trust anyone and that everyone is selfish and just thinks about themselves. Thought that in this world how much ever you do its less for people so might as well live in the moment. And all this started with a few words spoken out of place by a certain 'friend'. 2 years later i back on talkin terms with that person. Yes we are not that good friends and nor do i trust her again but i have moved on. I am happy,have my group of friends again and all this because eventually you realise that you can always be happy and there will always be people in your life who will be important to you. Even the ones who may have once hurt you eventually come around(even if its without an apology).
But more than such fights what hurts are those moments when you realise that it is a very small misunderstanding that causes a fight with someone who is very important to you. When you are ready to give everythin up,change yourself completely only to bring a smile on that persons face. People are different even the ones your closest to, this means that there will be a difference of opinion. What matters is how you solve it,How you make the other person understand what they mean to you. basically finding a middle ground where the both of yourl can be happy.
And anyways fights are what make a relationship stronger. The honesty to tell each other what you dont like, the passionate defense of your own opinions, the consideration of one anothers feelings, the finding of solutions and definetly the best part...The making up(especially when it involves something more than jsut a sorry ;])
xoxo
P
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